Lost

 I write in spite of my own misgivings.  I don't feel like I am accomplishing anything.  I feel stuck at a standstill.  I loved Utah so much when I first moved here.  In some respects, I still do.  However, I feel trapped by these mountains that usually bring me so much peace and inspiration.  I spend my days working and living the same routine day-in and day-out.  The monotony is taxing on my body.  I don't get away enough.  The very basis of my soul is that of a wandering gypsy.... yet I don't answer the call.  I never go climbing anymore.  I don't adventure into the mountains.  I don't let myself be free.  The worst part is that I feel like I am working towards nothing.  I just want to run away with my lover.... run away to the ocean... or Ireland.

I dream that I will be someone worth remembering one day.  I pray that I have the strength to listen to the true and spiritual longings of my heart.  I hope that I have the courage to be free always.  I wish... I wish that I could see into the future and know that these desires will never disappear.

Perhaps it is time for a midnight dance around a bonfire... naked, and with the full moon above.  Yes, I think I will find the answer I am looking for.