"Men should be anxiously engaged in a good cause, and do many things of their own free will, and bring to pass much righteousness; For the power is in them, wherein they are agents unto themselves" (D&C 58:26-28)
Ok so... God really isn't like Hitler. In fact he is the most merciful being in the universe.
When looking at the technical definition of anxious and engaged it does feel as if we must be constantly in a state of panic for our salvation! Well... I am now on a kick to make everyone's life a little less anxious.
My brother is probably the greatest recipient of my charity. By dressing him in my baby bikinis as a youngin' he now understands women's clothing that much better therefore creating the perfect specimen of man (one that understands the pain women must go through to satisfy the male species). NOT to mention he now has some rather embarrassing photos on the inter web which NO woman shall be able to resist. You're welcome Kale... YOU ARE WELCOME.
Don't get me wrong, I fully extend my charity beyond the realms of my immediate family.
In fact I bought a homeless lady a Beto's burrito once. It was carne asada and cost me 4 bucks (my laundry money). Their burritos are delicious and full of calories (albeit fatty calories). The only downside to this is probably the gut rot she was feeling after devouring my burrito and then going out to the next three people in the drive thru and bumming burritos off of them as well.
Side Note: Is it considered charity if one is contributing to the obesity of Americans?
BUT WAIT! It doesn't stop at humans! I love animals and animals love me... so why shouldn't they take part in the splendid charity of our human race?!
I was sitting at home one day and decided that my rabbit should learn how to swim.
Why not contribute to the evolution of the common rodent? I mean... how COOL would it be to have rabbits with fins?! Then we could give them growth hormones and grow them to the size of a horse... THEN we could use them instead of cars and boats... PLUS their fur is soooo soft we wouldn't even need a saddle!
Needless to say, Mr. Rabbit did not appreciate the swim lesson and I have the scars to prove it.
no doubt he will regret that decision one day as his future children are swimming in the ocean and warding of shark attacks while being worshiped as demi-gods for being so awesome. Where will Mr. Rabbit be?... well I'm not exactly sure if there is a rabbit heaven, but somewhere like that.
Ok that was a joke... I don't believe in demi-gods...
but Santa is REAL... right?
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